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About Varied / Professional Premium Member Summer McClungFemale/United States Recent Activity
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One week ago, today, my Mother died.
It wasn't what I imagined; it wasn't quick and in her sleep. It was harsh and painful and drawn out.
She went into the hospital for knee surgery and never came out. She languished in rehabilitation; becoming sicker and sicker, and the doctors couldn't find out why. She stopped eating and they had to put a feeding tube in...and then she coded. She just stopped breathing. Her heart stopped.
But they brought her back.
By the time I got there, they had already intubated her. She was still conscious and I was able to hold her hand and tell her I love her; she was able to squeeze my hand and nod. Then they took her for exploratory surgery, trying to find out what was making her so sick. She never woke up.
Well, that's not completely true. Several days later, after the doctors had told me and my Dad that there was no hope, that she would never wake up and the best we could hope for (if she even survived the infections raging through her body) was that she would be confined to the ventilator and feeding tube and unable to care for herself. But it was very, very unlikely that she would survive. We had to make a decision.
My Mother always told us that she never, NEVER, wanted to kept that way; and I knew that only the body would be there.
We agonized over it, my Father, brother, sister, and I. We knew what she wanted, but my Father and I just couldn't say yes 100%. But then, my Mother did what the doctor said was impossible: She opened her eyes. She looked at me; she focused and she SAW me. She saw my Father. She saw my brother. At first, I was so elated. I thought that a miracle had happened. But it was soon clear that it hadn't. Her expression was one of pain. It said, "Help me. Let me go."
We all saw that. I told her I loved her so much, and she looked at me and gave the tiniest nod. She closed her eyes, and they never opened again of her own will.
We made the decision, and last Thursday morning, they removed the ventilator from my Mother.
My Father and I were the only ones strong enough to stay with her. I refused to leave - there was no way I could let her go by herself. I later thought that it was funny: She was there when I took my first breath, and I would be there when she took her last... I held her hand, and smoothed her brow, whispering that everything would be okay, it would all be over soon, and she would be at peace.
It only took thirty minutes before her lungs gave out. I closed her eyelids. I laid down next to her on the hospital bed, and I cried and cried.
I had never seen my Father cry before; now it seems I see tears in his eyes all the time...
I seem to hover between numb and hysterical. I sleep in her spot; my Dad can hardly go in the room. I panic whenever anyone moves one of her things - I want everything to be just as she left it. Her robe still smells like her, and I find that I fall asleep better when I hold it close.
I had to write my Mother's obituary. That was one thing I never imagined I'd do.
I sang "Amazing Grace" over her casket at the funeral. That was another thing I never imagined I'd do.

Here's what I wrote for my Mother:

"She was born on June 29, 1945 in Columbia, MS; fourth child of Toxie and Margie Gatlin Loflin. She spent her childhood and youth in many places across south Mississippi and Louisiana; picking cotton, playing with her brother and sisters, growing up in the 1950’s and 60’s, and listening to the musical talents of her friends Jerry Lee Lewis and Mickey Gilley.

She was selfless and selfish; charming and tempermental; loving and difficult. She was cautious and impetuous. She was a refuge from the chaos of the world, and yet she could be quite the firecracker, as well.

She loved knick-knacks and what-nots, cooking and roses; bingo and rocking chairs, find-a-words and family.

The keeper of construction paper birthday cards and poorly colored pages; lop-sided hearts and plastic bracelets; glass roses and painted flowers; exotic figurines and tons and tons of photographs.

So much more than just a homemaker, she was an amazing wife; an even better mother. A wonderful grandmother, and the best sister and aunt you could ask for.

Dorothy Irene Loflin Royston, 68, of Natchez Mississippi passed from this life on Thursday May 29, 2014 at Christus, St. Francis Cabrini Hospital, in Alexandria, Louisiana. She left us for Heaven at 7:47 a.m.

Born into the Baptist faith, she was not a member of any particular congregation, but believed that “Church” was in your heart, and religion was all about relationship with the Lord.

She is preceded in death by her parents, Toxie and Margie Gatlin Loflin; brother, Jerry Loflin; and son-in-law, Bryant Adams.

She is survived and remembered dearly by her husband of 34 years, George Royston; daughters, Terri Lofton Adams, of Natchez MS, and Summer Royston McClung and husband Dennis of Natchez, MS; son, Rick Lee and fiancé Marylyn Ruzgal of Little Elm, TX; sisters, Charlotte Loflin Roberts and husband Bubba, Jean Loflin Wactor and husband Julius, and Brenda Sue Loflin McFarland and husband Wayne; grandchildren, Josh Adams, Lance Adams, Dustin Adams, Corey Adams, Chelsea Felter, Haylee Royston, and Aimee Stone; as well as a host of nieces, nephews and friends.

Services will be held on Monday, June 2, 2014 at Franklin Funeral Home. Visitation for immediate family will be from 10 a.m. to 11 a.m., with a public visitation from 11 a.m. to noon, at which time a small service will proceed in her honor. Burial will follow at Midway Cemetery in Meadville.

Please send flowers to Franklin Funeral Home, or make donations in her name to Blair E. Batson Hospital in Jackson, MS."

I don't know what else to say now. I'm about to go see her.

  • Mood: Anguish
  • Drinking: water

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Summer McClung
Artist | Professional | Varied
United States
About me? What to say about me?

I write. I write to give substance; to lend form to the thoughts, the dreams, the images that play in my head like movies; to save my sanity, to express emotion, to move forward.

I read to get lost in the pages of another world; to escape the mundane, the ordinary - and the monotony we sometimes find ourselves in - if only for a little while.

I listen to music. It moves me in ways nothing else can sometimes.

I take care of my two beautiful, intelligent, rambunctious little girls - my own personal pieces of immortality, and glimpses back in time to my own childhood.

I have a passion for photography; for capturing life as it happens; for sharing the world, the way I see it, with others willing to slow down long enough to look.

I love my God, and thank Him every day for all He has blessed me with - both the good and the bad.

I love Love; it comes in many disguises, winding in and out of the human experience, intangible as a wisp of smoke, but chased after like some pirate's buried treasure. I believe we should saturate ourselves in it and strive to practice it daily in one form or another - whether in the privacy of a relationship, a small token of devotion to family, or a random act of kindness for some stranger in need of it.

Laughter is absolutely necessary; in order to survive this life, one MUST learn to laugh, even when it is the last thing we feel capable of doing.
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:iconwhitexblackrose:
whiteXblackrose Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for favoriting Father's Trial. :) I hope you come back to read the final arc.
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:iconsummerstone:
summerstone Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2014  Professional General Artist
You're welcome.
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:icontmwillson3:
tmwillson3 Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the fave on the Christmas song parodies!! :D I'm glad you enjoyed them! :-)
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:iconicedragon300:
Icedragon300 Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2013
:iconballoonplz: Happy Birthday :iconcakeplz: :iconballoonplz: :D
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:iconsummerstone:
summerstone Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2013  Professional General Artist
Thank you so much!
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:iconicedragon300:
Icedragon300 Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2013
You´re welcome. :)
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:iconkyndsie:
Kyndsie Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the :+fav: of "Steal an Hour"!
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:iconpirate-yashimaru:
Pirate-Yashimaru Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2013  Professional General Artist
thanks for faving my songs.  more to come.
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:iconmetorus:
Metorus Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2013
Thank you, Summer ! :rose:

I'm glad you are recovering :shamrock:
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:iconotorireka:
OtoriReka Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2013
Thanks for the :+fav:
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